Monday Morning Manna: Eating My Way to Heaven

Imagine this. The children of Israel wandering about in the wilderness, thinking back to the Egyptian food they missed. “We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic” (Numbers 11:5). What if someone had delivered this bit of news to them — “University researchers have discovered that eating Egyptian food, especially leeks and onions, may cause cancer!” Nothing they could do about it now. All those years of enjoying Egyptian food may have put cancer cells in their bodies. Life in the promised land would now be cancer ridden. If you can imagine this, you can know how I felt when I read the following headline in last week’s newspaper – “Eating out may raise your risk of cancer.” Oh no! Say it isn’t so. All those years of double meat & cheese burgers, pizza buffets, all-you-can-eat breakfast bars, Bar B. Q. and beans, Chinese take-out? From fast food places to sit-down restaurants, I was doomed. The article went on to explain that it was the “potentially harmful chemicals called phthalate … which are often used as plastics . . . in packaging, takeout boxes, and gloves.” I’ve been so careful – no lung cancer from smoking; no stomach cancer from alcohol consumption, but now it’s restaurant plastic that gives me cancer, not to mention all those plastic bags in which my mother wrapped my school sandwiches. I can envision my arrival in heaven. “And how did you get here, Mr. Crawford?” Well, I was eating at Smokey Joe’s Café when . . .”